It's About Time Baby! ...and THIS Time It's About YOU.

The importance of re-writing our sad stories

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 13:32:15 -0700

We all have stories from the past that aren’t good.

Where we feel we were stupid, foolish, blind, used, mistreated…

And everytime we think of them or something reminds us of that time in our lives - we go right back into all the thoughts / feelings - just like it’s happening all over again.

It’s so important to RE-FRAME our stories and rewrite them into something that feels empowering to us.

Glass half empty or half full = both are perceptions / interpretations

We can reinterpret those past events.

My story for example, instead of feeling sad over a failed marriage I can see it as I got to fall in love, and spend several years having fun but then we just grew apart.

All the blaming / complaining just feels shitty so I let it go and focus on the parts that make me feel good about that time in my life… rather than “wasted time” - it was a learning, an awakening, and a growth opportunity.

And if I’m honest - it wasn’t all bad.

But we tend to focus JUST on the bad parts, and that drags us down into feeling bad about choosing that...Read More

The Meaning We Assign is Everything!

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 13:12:57 -0800

We’re 9 days into the new year folks…
What are your resolutions?
What are your goals for the year?
Wait - I’m just kidding - don’t answer those questions.
But, isn’t that the buzz these days in general?
There’s the pressure to end the year strong, review the year, and of course make a plan to be better than last year, and make this year the best yet!
AHHHHHH! It’s a lot.
But if I’m honest, I’ve been feeling a little tired and drained these days…and December was exhausting.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m all for achieving goals.
But I also recognize when I need a break, or to take things a little slower.
In fact, I’ve decided I’m not going to pressure myself to kickstart the new year in my business for a few more weeks.
I also know what matters most of all:
The MEANING I assign to me needing a break, taking it slower and taking a few more weeks to get 2023 started for my...Read More

I'm Being Brave

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 16:47:37 -0700

Have you ever wanted to say something or talk about something you’re passionate about but fear how it will be received? So, you hold back how you really feel, stuff your feelings and bite your tongue? Well, this has been going on for me for a while…
I know the answer is to just be brave and share it…to be my authentic self and say what I feel pulled to say and trust that the right people will hear it. And the rest will fall by the wayside.
I love the saying,
“The people who care won’t mind,
and the people who mind don’t care.”
This concept of being brave applies to so many situations in life, in relationships, at work, with family, everywhere really. For me, what I want to share is the way I look at life and it’s the basis for why I’m a happy, optimistic woman over 50. So, telling you this is me being BRAVE and sharing with you what I’m passionate about. It may turn some of you off or not, but I feel pulled to talk about this…so here we go.
In a world full of fear, I choose to talk about things that spread hope, and promote strength in each of us and part of that intention is sharing knowledge that I have learned over the past 10 years - based on what I’m interested in, what I know to be true (based on science) and what I’m passionate about.
I’ve been fascinated with the human body my whole life. How our hearts beat, lungs “breathe us” and our food is digested without us ever putting a thought to it. Not to mention what makes our hearts beat…that...Read More

What is WILLPOWER?

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 11:45:20 -0700

Ahhh willpower... that old chestnut!
Do you ever beat yourself up for not having the willpower to get healthy and release weight?
We often think of willpower as an indicator of our moral character...or as a tool that gets more effective with an increase in commitment.
We believe that all the willpower we need is there, waiting for us to tap into it, and if we fail - then shame on us - and we feel like a failure.
But, willpower isn’t what you think it is, and doesn’t work how you think it works.
Willpower is a simple brain function.
But here’s what’s important to understand:
It is not just a mental ability that resists temptation - it also influences other things, like our ability to focus.
It also monitors our performance doing tasks, regulates our emotions and, most important, helps us make choices.
For example: Have you ever thought to yourself at the end of a long day,
“I cannot make one more decision!”
You tell your spouse or partner to choose what’s for dinner because you just CAN’T.
That’s what is scientifically called “decision fatigue” and it’s real.
Professor of psychology at Florida State University, Roy Baumeister - the world’s leading expert on willpower wrote a paper for the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that put willpower on the map as a subject of scientific...Read More

The Power of the Pause

Mon, 10 May 2021 11:53:00 -0700

Over the past 3 weeks I’ve been taking a pause… I planned it as I needed the time to let my body heal from an elective surgery I had. (Full disclosure: I chose to have cosmetic surgery done on my eyes, specifically my eyelids. Heavy upper lids is a Scott family trait that I’ve chosen to change for myself.)
Even though I planned this “pause” I noticed a lot of things that came up for me during this time:
- I felt like I SHOULD be doing something. I felt like I was falling behind.
- I felt that I was being lazy. I felt impatient and anxious. (even though I’m healing so fast!)
- I felt sorry for myself, then I judged myself for feeling sorry for myself because I chose this!
Total.nut.job.
My inner talk and harsh judgments (and worries) were making my headache even more than it already did. I felt so heavy with emotions but I really couldn’t put my finger on exactly what I was feeling in the moment. It felt like EVERYTHING was off and I was angry and frustrated.
About a week in on a Sunday evening while I was making a salad for dinner, I turned on the song “Stop this train” by John Mayer. It’s one of my favorites because the story & lyrics always make me get emotional and I usually get a little teary eyed listening and singing along with it. Well, this night produced a whole level of “emotional”...
I had tears streaming down my face like a water hose! I couldn’t stop for a while even after the song it ended. But when I did stop, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I realized I had so much pent up emotion… I just needed to let it out.
Afterwards I noticed my headache was gone. Everything felt lighter, freer and more beautiful in...Read More

The Journey to Self-Confidence

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 14:47:28 -0800

What does it mean to you to be truly confident?
When I ask this of myself, I know what it means...
Self-confidence is the willingness to take steps towards goals that you value, even if you're scared, anxious, and unsure about it and the outcome is unknown.
And what it doesn’t…
Self-confidence is not arrogance or narcissism, nor is it being the one who speaks the loudest or dominates everything and everyone. It’s about being firmly rooted in who you really are.
>> You see, for so much of my life I struggled with my self-confidence. <<
It affected every area of my life from my body image, to my career and my relationships. It turned me into a people-pleasing and over-giving doormat of a partner and friend, who was always struggling financially. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t so I could be accepted, liked, and loved.
My low point came when my marriage fell apart. I felt lost and confused, and my inner talk was brutal. I was embarrassed to be a grown woman in her 40’s with no idea what she wanted or how she had gotten to where she was. I kept it all inside of me for so long - putting on a happy face while on the inside - I was so NOT happy.
Through this dark time, I had no energy and no patience. I was angry and bitter, resentful of others that seemed to have their lives together. I looked around my entire life with guilt, shame, and so much disappointment. All those years that I did everything for everyone and nothing for myself… I was waiting for others to notice me, to value me.
Again, I asked myself, how did I get here?
Looking back, I know it began...Read More

Turn Lemons Into Lemonade

Thu, 28 Jan 2021 15:34:04 -0800

Years ago, whenever I was talking with a friend or colleague about a difficult decision they had to make or a difficult situation they were faced with, I would do my best to console them and encourage them to remain hopeful. I would usually say,
>> “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” <<
which would typically help them realize that the worst thing they could think of - really wasn’t that bad.
Eventually, they would breathe a sigh of relief knowing that they could handle the worst. And I would feel as though I had helped them gain some perspective and calmed their nerves as well - a job well done as a friend/colleague.
I realized a few years back that this may not be the best way to help someone feel better, or for that matter to feel hopeful. After all, I was guiding them to think the worst, “take it to the grave” so to speak and imagine what that might be like. Yikes!
Even though it worked in a sense, it guided them down a dark path where they would have to think of and describe something they could tolerate and ultimately settle with. And frankly, who wants to get into that mindset?
With all that I’ve learned over my years of self-discovery and what I’ve learned about how powerful we all are manifesting our realities, I’ve found there’s a better way to go about dealing with the difficult things in life. One of my core values is Optimism, and living my life in alignment with this value has helped me look at tough decisions and situations in a new light. It’s also helped me gain more faith in general.
Let me explain how this works… When the proverbial shit hits the fan - it’s super easy to go down the poop-shoot of despair. I’ve been there many times, and I do allow myself to wallow in it...Read More

How to Prepare for 2021: Manifest Your Dreams

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 07:39:35 -0800

>> As this year comes to a close I’m reflecting back…
Late December is always a time for me to look back on the past 12 months, take stock of what I’m proud of, what I’m grateful for and begin to make new plans for the coming year. Although I know for most, 2020 has been a tough year.
I certainly never could have predicted what the last 9 months has thrown at us, not only here in the United States - but in the world as a whole. Even though it’s been a year filled with a lot of uncertainty, turmoil and change - it’s also shown me how resilient we all can be when faced with new challenges, and for that I’m filled with hope for 2021.

This was the year that I decided to fully step into my coaching business after 3 ½ years of only doing coaching on the side. I planned for the transition and boldly left my regular job to pursue my passion. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. Many would think that a year like this would crush my enthusiasm - but honestly, I’ve never felt happier or more in alignment with what I truly value in life than right now...and for that I am so grateful.

I believe the reason why I’ve been able to make it through this year with such optimism and resolve is because I’m doing so many things I’ve never done before that stretch and challenge me:
I’m working for myself (and yes, I’m the coolest person I’ve ever worked for)
I’m focusing all my energy, creativity and experience on helping others
I love what I do!
I’m working from home which means I can work in my pajamas and get to be with my kitties all day! #catsrule
Each day I’m learning something new about how to run my business (hello technology!)
I make my own schedule so I have the freedom to do what I want with my time
I’m building community with my Facebook Group (Read More

Here's Why You Find It Hard to Receive Compliments

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 10:11:54 -0800

I have to say, you look absolutely fabulous today!
^^ I intentionally long-paused here.^^
How did that make you feel? Did you think, “hell yeah I do!” or was it more of a “What? Me today? Are you crazy? I look like hell…”
If you’re like me (and most women), you find it hard to hear and accept compliments. It’s something I’ve been consciously working on for myself for the past few years now. And it’s not just compliments around how I look - I find myself deflecting those kind remarks about recent accomplishments, an idea I had, or even just on the dinner I made.
When I sat down to figure out what was going on inside my head when people compliment me, I realized what I was really thinking was that they're lying or trying to manipulate me somehow, get on my good side, or that they mean well but don’t recognize that what I’ve done is actually not that good.
>>Bottom line, I didn’t believe them.<<
The fact is, it’s so easy to believe in, and linger on, the negative things about ourselves even when the positive clearly outweighs the negative.
Why does that happen? Why do so many of us struggle to believe good things about ourselves?
While I was writing this I thought I would do a bit of research and share some information outside of my own thoughts and ideas around this - and it turns out psychologists have found it’s a “loop” of opposing thoughts / beliefs that keep us stuck.
There are three factors happening here, feeding into one another endlessly to make it hard to accept compliments:

1. low self-esteem
2. cognitive dissonance, and
3. high expectations

1. Low self-esteem
In layman's terms, it goes like this: you don’t think much of yourself, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s imposter syndrome, where you don’t truly believe you...Read More

Holiday Habits & Loving Yourself

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 14:25:41 -0800

Welp, it’s December…I was out shopping ‘in person’ the other day (I say that because I’ve been buying so much online these days) and noticed there is a HUGE section in Target just dedicated to sweets! Has this always been the case? It was crazy big, full of every kind of candy (every brand has a Holiday version), there’s chocolates, candy canes, marshmallows, cookies, cakes, fruit cake (who eats this?), fudge - it was overwhelming. It was cleverly positioned / mixed in with the Christmas decorations so if you were looking for tree trimmings, why not buy some candy canes while you’re there?
It made me think of how easy it is to just grab a few sweets while you’re picking up new lights for your tree. How retailers know to position these items in such a way that we mindlessly grab a box of chocolate covered cherries (which I did) near the check out stand. Or how we generally associate the holidays with candy and sweets. And how it sets us up to over indulge so we can gain those extra pounds that we will ultimately feel bad about then fight to lose them in January and beyond again and again.
It’s just a habit we’re in, the holidays trigger our stuff-your-face-with-cookies-and-candy behaviors. Before I got a handle on my own mindset and what I believed about myself, I would start eating candy in October with Halloween as my excuse and carry right on through New Years thinking “why not?”. I’ll worry about the damage I’ve done in the New Year.
I had all sorts of reasons that I used to justify my behavior. <<
They ranged from “I’m just getting into the spirit of the season” and “I’m only going to have a few tiny Snickers” to “What the hell, I may as well finish them off”. Along with that...Read More