Have you ever thought or said something like this?
“After all I’ve done for everyone else… no one is there for me. I’ve been so nice to everyone, and people just take me for granted.”
I know I have thought that a time or two. I’ve also thought, “How can they not SEE all that I’ve done? Are they blind? I’m such a good person…don’t they care?!!?!?”
As a people pleaser, you may think that you’ve got a black belt in making other people happy - but in reality your real skills lie in making yourself feel miserable and not good enough.
You see, my fellow people pleasers - it’s the mindset you have that is anchored in BEING NICE that keeps you in the trap of pleasing. You believe that by being nice - that will gain you the love and affection you desire. You also believe it will protect you from being hurt, rejected or disapproved of.
Have you ever stopped to think about WHY you are doing what you’re doing? Let’s say someone asks you for help. Do you think “I need to help” or “I want to help”? There is a HUGE difference between the two:
“I need to help” - usually stems from a desire for acknowledgment or validation, and it’s usually driven by guilt. Thinking you “need” to help - you bypass checking in with yourself and your own resources. Do you even have the time or energy to spare? Are you seeking attention and praise for your help? If you’re expecting anything in return, you’re not helping for a healthy reason, and you’re not being honest with yourself..
“I want to help” - this FEELS so much better. It’s lighter and more fulfilling all the way around. You’re doing this because it feels good and you’re coming from a place of abundance. You’re giving from your overflow of time, energy and resources - and you would do it even if no one ever witnessed it.
Can you see the difference? I don’t know about you, but I don’t like accepting help from anyone that’s going to hold me over a barrel in the future. It just doesn’t feel good yet it’s how so many People Pleasers operate - by attempting to make people around them feel guilty for not reciprocating. Ugh! It’s exhausting!
Well, I’ve handed in my title…. I’m no longer a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t think you want to be that person either. Slow down for a minute and check in with YOU. What’s driving your behavior? I promise, there’s a way out of feeling like a doormat - and it starts with YOU.