What would it feel like to truly accept yourself... just as you are? This has been on my mind lately because it’s the precursor to loving yourself.
You see, you can’t change anything unless you focus on it, and it’s difficult to focus on something you don’t accept or care for. Self Acceptance is the ultimate gift we can give ourselves and we need it to fulfill our dreams.
To have, be or do whatever it is we want, you must first accept WHAT IS.
Accepting what is does not mean you’re complacent and just stop trying to change or better yourself. You can absolutely accept things as they are while also wanting them to be different. The truth is you don’t have to like or enjoy something to accept it, or even understand it to accept it.. Rather, I’m talking about an energetic shift where you stop resisting and fighting against the things you want to change, while still working to change them.
Sound tricky?
Let me explain a bit more.
This doesn’t mean you don’t fight FOR what you want, it’s about creating and coming from a different energy in how you respond (and not react) to the things that aren’t the way you want them to be in your life. If you just try it out, you’ll find it works and FEELS so much better.
The next time you’re beating yourself up about something you’ve done OR haven’t done, you can shift the energy around it into acceptance for what is. Then, rather than fighting against it feeling frustrated and angry (energy of opposition) - You can ask yourself, “What do I want to experience instead?” then you can fight FOR what you want, feeling hopeful and optimistic (energy of peace).
It’s easy to accept yourself when things are going well, it’s when things are difficult - when we need self acceptance the most, when it’s the hardest to do.
What do you do when times are tough? When you mess up, fail, make a mistake - rather than letting the inner critic take over and take you down a spiral of despair and self criticism - respond with kindness, forgiveness and compassion. That’s how real self acceptance works. Softening towards yourself opens the gates to forgiveness, which in turn, helps you take your energy and your power back. Changing how you relate to and connect to yourself when things go wrong, helps you release the shame that you’ve accumulated over time, from your life, environment and experiences.
Again, by shifting and putting more focus, energy and attention on the outcome you WANT vs. the outcome you DON’T want, you will shift your energy and feel better about yourself.
The same applies for General Acceptance for all the things, people, circumstances, current events and all relationships in life. Again, acceptance for anything does not mean that you agree with how things are… you can still desire and work towards change. But it definitely will make a difference in how you feel! You know I am ALWAYS looking for ways I can feel good and THIS is absolutely one of them that has helped me these past few months in particular. (Oh and I recommend NOT watching the news too... :) )
Remember, if you want to become a Feel Good Junkie like me you must continually seek out ways to do just that. If you’re really going to accept and love yourself, it requires the energy of ease and peace. Your actions, behaviors and choices need to change too.
So, circling back to the original question: What does it feel like to have self-acceptance? It feels relaxing, soothing, calming… It feels like relief and it feels good. We were not put on this planet to beat ourselves up, so I invite you to try a new way of being.
Self Acceptance is not always easy, but the more you embrace all that is YOU, the sooner you can go after the changes you are fighting for… FOR YOU.
I’d love to hear if you struggle with self acceptance and what ways you deal with it. If that’s not something you’ve worked out yet, let’s see if we can work out some ways together to get you there!