Hello again! It’s your friendly, neighborhood Feel Good Junkie again!
Today I’ve got a question for you:
How much goodness can you take?
I know, I know… you’re thinking what kind of a question is that? Is it a trick question? I can take a helluva lot of goodness thank you very much!
I know you think you can take a lot of goodness - and of course it depends on what you define as “a lot” vs. what I do… So let me tell you what I define as “a lot of goodness”:
You eat healthy foods, move your body regularly, and sleep soundly
Your relationships are loving and supportive
You do work that is fulfilling and satisfying
You have financial stability
You feel content and happy with yourself
This is what “a lot of goodness” means to me.
This is what “having it all” looks like to me.
Now, if this list jives with what you define as “a lot of goodness” then stay with me…
The reason why I’m bringing this up is because I see so many people blocking the flow of goodness into their lives.
Let me share an example of one of my clients:
Linda is a wife and mother of two grown children that recently went off to college. When I met Linda a few years back, her relationship with her husband was rocky. She was also working at a job that she had been unhappy at for years, and she longed to open her own business. She was overweight and her health was not great as she admittedly put herself last on the list of priorities, so clean eating and exercise were not happening.
Fast forward a year and both children had moved away to college, providing Linda with some freedom and space. She had opened her business on the side and after just a year, made the bold move to leave her full time job as business was booming. Both Linda and her husband worked together to rejuvenate their connection, once again creating a strong and loving relationship. Finally she’s made a huge shift to making her health a priority - changing up her diet and increasing her exercise. Linda has released weight and is feeling better than ever...overall, she is FEELING GOOD in all areas of life.
So, what’s the problem?
Linda reached out to me recently and we had a long conversation. She shared with me that she’s been FULL of anxiety. She’s worried about how her kids are doing at school - did they miss home? Were they doing okay? She’s worried that she can’t keep her business going strong, maybe she just got lucky with it that first year. Now, to top everything off (because she’s been so anxious), Linda has been snippy and picking fights with her husband, putting a strain on their relationship.
I had a hunch as to what was going on with Linda… so I asked her, “How much goodness will you allow yourself to have in life?” She was silent for a long while on the phone. Then she said, “Oh my god, I’m freaking myself out because I finally have everything that I wanted - and I’m just not used to everything going so well in my life… and I’m waiting for the proverbial “other shoe to drop”... and I’m not allowing myself to enjoy all the goodness.”
I said, “BINGO!”
You see, we all have a certain level of success, prosperity or goodness that we’ll allow ourselves to have in our lives. It’s not something we’re conscious of, it’s buried in our subconscious and it’s likely based in a belief we have about what we’re worthy or deserving of - or some other belief around how what we have, or do affects those around us (taking care of other’s feelings). Let’s just call it a “Limiting Belief” - because that’s all it is. A belief. And what’s a belief again? Just a repeated thought - and it can be changed.
When you go after all that you want in life you’re going to feel afraid… afraid of the unknown. Your hidden fear of taking your life to the next level is caused by your ego. It’s rising up to talk you OUT of it. It’s job is to keep you safe after all… so it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. So, your ego manufactures “pain” to keep you where you are… safe and STUCK where you feel comfortable. In Linda’s case, her “pain” was her attempt at sabotaging everything that was good in her life - because she had already reached her “goodness” limit. Linda’s life had reached a new level - and now she needed to raise the bar on how much more she’d allow herself to have so she could continue to grow into an even better version of herself.
How do you raise that bar? The secret is to consciously enjoy what is good in your life NOW, more often… sit in it and marinate in it so you can expand your ability to enjoy even more. Practice this by focusing on what is good (kinda like being grateful!) and feel into it, feel it in your body. Allow yourself to receive more and more of it and KNOW that you are worthy and deserving.
That’s what becoming a Feel Good Junkie is all about. Give yourself permission to raise the bar over and over and over again. Expanding into a bigger and better life all the while until you have all that you want, and beyond. It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you’re aware of what’s holding you back - then you can focus in on it, and that’s the first step in making a change for the GOOD.
One of my favorite books of all time on this subject is The Big Leap, by Gaye Hendricks.
There's a quote that I love from the book which is this:
“Life is at its best when Love, Money and Creativity are growing in harmony.”
If you’re ready to let more goodness in - Gaye poses these 2 questions in the book for you to ask yourself to get you started:
Am I willing to increase the amount of time everyday that I feel good inside?
Inside meaning: a natural sense of well being, not dependent on any outside factors such as a sunny day or a good meal. Just an organic, deep feeling of Mind / Body wellness.
Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my WHOLE LIFE goes well?
Who wouldn’t want this? Right? However, it's common to believe that having your whole life go well is far-fetched, or just not possible. But, if you cling to the notion that something is not possible, then you are arguing for your own limitation.
If you're willing to say yes to both of these questions - you’re on your way. When the fear comes up (and it will, trust me) the best thing to do is just BREATHE. As the famous quote by Robert Heller goes, “Fear is excitement without the breath”. When we’re scared we hold our breath hoping that by denying ourselves the breath, the fear will subside… but guess what? It just grows bigger and stronger when we do that. So, we must breathe through the scary parts so that we can change, grow and level up in life and allow more GOODNESS to flow in.
Now, let me ask you again - How much goodness can you take?
If you’re ready to find out, I’d love to help you, it’s as easy as booking a free with me!
We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!